Researchers found that children who have good patience will have better social and cognitive performance in their later life. However, most children throw temper tantrum and meltdown within second when they are angry or out of patience. For example,
“I want to buy this toy!”
“No you have had too many toys at home.”
“Noo…I want to play this toy right now!”
Does this sound familiar to you?
Most kids just can’t wait when they need something. Sometimes, the condition worsen after they started attending school. Kids who are impatient and emotional always end up with impulsive behavior, because they have trouble stopping to think before they act. This behavior causes headache for their parents, so what can we do to fix it ?
Background and environment
Psychological research found that, a bad habit in children can be developed in just 3 days but in order to cultivate a good habit, it must be continuously practiced for 21 days.
Point Reward System
The benefit of point reward system:
- Correction of behavior
- Let your child clearly know their target
- Improve the ability of keeping good attitude while waiting
- More interaction and bonding between parents and children
- Reminder for the children that the rules have been set
5 Minutes Cognitive Training Tips
Draw a little card that look like this
Step 1: Agreement with your children
List out your children’s bad behavior and make an agreement with them.
For example , 1. shouting when they got angry 2. hit somebody when they got mad.
Reward your children with a stamp or a sticker on the card if they didn’t make the same mistake for the day.
* Suggest 2 rules each time, no stamp for breaking the rules or 1 stamp for not making the mistake or 2 stamps for not making both mistake in the day
Step 2: Target and Achievement of the card
There’re 90 empty boxes on the card, so your children will be rewarded a reward when they have collected 42 stamps / stickers and another reward when they have completed the whole 90 boxes on the card. This will help children to build up their patience, endurance as well as temper management.
Step 3: Execution
Fix a certain time everyday (example after school), and spend about 5 minutes to have a chat with your children about their emotions and performance at school. Have a discussion with them, if they break any of the rules in the agreement as this will help to train the children ability to introspect.
Step 4: Ability to Analyze
Most of the children are not aware of their act or simply didn’t think before they act. For example, “How can we do that ?” , “Why can’t we do that ?”, Parents can assist them by guiding the children to think step by step.
Step 5: Reward the children
You should give your children a hug and compliment for keeping up with their good behavior. At the end of the day your children will have the ability to control their temper and this will be a lifelong benefit for them.
Keep in mind that
1. Try not to use toys as a reward. A reward can be a place that they wanted to go / play, their favorite outdoor activities or go for their favorite movies.
2. Parents have act as a role model and supportive unconditionally as most children tend to quit things halfway.
3. Always remind your children this is for their own good and not for the purpose of the rewards.