How to Handle Your Anger at your child | The Challenge of Childhood

Your child wants to go outside and play. Unfortunately, you are unable to take him or her out at that exact moment. They respond with a violent outburst that is painful to watch.

Does this sound familiar?


Patience, patience, patience, that is the best advice that I can give when it comes to handling a child who is angry.

Anger is a form of communication, and everyone gets angry, especially children. The key with children is to make them aware, that while it is okay to get upset and express their opinion, they still need to be respectful and handle it appropriately, not throw a tantrum.

This is the difference between a polite child and a spoiled one. Whether it is stomping their feet or slamming doors a tantrum is their way of challenging you. And some tantrums can turn violent if not controlled. How you handle a child’s tantrum is an ongoing process that will evolve as your child gets older compared to when they were a child.

Example 

The first thing to look at is what kind of example YOU set when dealing with your anger. Children are like sponges that absorb everything from their parents or loved ones. So watch what you say and how you act.

Tips

  • Stay Calm

When your child starts to get angry remain calm and keep communication going, keeping the tone at a respectful level. This part is essential because nothing gets accomplished during a yelling match.  If you feel that this is not possible, encourage a “cool down” period. It will allow you and your child a break and the ability to calm down and approach the issue later. Always go back and handle the initial trigger that started the tantrum.

  • Don’t Give In

Remaining firm on your stance is crucial. Even if it is at a crowded store in front of hundreds of people, most parents are going to want you not to give in to the behavior. Address the issue by staying calm all while maintaining your stance.

There have to be some repercussions for this behavior, correct? There has to be a message that is sent clearly to your child letting them know that this type of behavior is unacceptable.

  • Timeout

This method works great for young children. Place them in a quiet spot where they need to sit and think about their actions. With my children I gave them a minute for how old they were; 2 yrs old- 2 minutes timeout.

  • Loss of privileges

This works great for older children. When they act out take away something they love for an extended period of time. Then stick to your word. The key to a successful punishment is to remain consistent and stick to the terms of the punishment.

Always remember to praise acceptable behavior

Your child will navigate these different challenges and with your help develop coping skills, to make them respectful adults.


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