What does it mean to be a good mom? Chances are, this question has run through the minds of every mom. When a becomes pregnant with her first child, she starts thinking about all the ways that she wants to raise her child and how amazing it’s going to be. She dreams of showing her son or daughter how to be a good friend, stand up for themselves, find what they love, and not sweat the small stuff. And she wants her partner, family, and friends to look at her and say, “She’s an awesome mom.”
There are many ways to be a mom, from staying at home to going to work, to being crafty, to admitting that DIY projects just aren’t happening. And there are many things to worry about as a mom. It’s difficult to stay calm, cool and collected at all times and never think that something could go wrong. No mom could ever do that, even if they know that everything is going to be just fine.
Coming back to the question of what makes a good mom, it makes sense to take a look at the worries that amazing mamas have. Here are 20 things that only good moms worry about too much.
PACKING A SUPER NUTRITIOUS LUNCH (AND EVERY ITEM BEING EATEN)
Only good moms worry about packing a nutritious lunch that their kid will actually eat. Moms know that when you figure out what to put in your child’s lunchbox, all you want is for them to enjoy what’s inside. There are so many times that you pack healthy food and your kid comes home having eaten none of it (but they somehow finished off the chocolate chip granola bar or bag of chips that you packed, too…).
It makes sense to worry about this because you want your son or daughter to be able to focus at school and feel good, and that includes eating healthy food. You’re used to feeding your kid at home during breakfast and dinner, and you want to make sure that lunch doesn’t fall by the wayside.
KIDS BEING SIGNED UP FOR ENOUGH ACTIVITIES
What does your child’s weekly schedule look like? Do they play soccer on Mondays, baseball on Wednesdays, and go to an arts class on Fridays?
That might look like a lot… and yet you always have the sinking feeling that you didn’t sign your kid up for enough activities. Compared to their friend or neighbor or classmate, they might not be doing enough. Only good moms have this worry and moms can relate to this since you want to provide your children will every golden opportunity. You want them to learn what they like and dislike, and you don’t want them to think that you didn’t give them enough chances to explore their interests.
LEAVING YOUR KIDS WITH A BABYSITTER
Only good moms worry about leaving their kids with a babysitter. Do they trust this person enough? Do they know that she will take good care of their little ones? Is it even okay to go out for a few hours and leave them at home?
Of course you know that you’re allowed to have some fun and go on date night with your partner or see some friends for dinner, and yet it’s all too easy to think that moms don’t do things like this. You’ll realize that you’re definitely a great mom when you want to be there for your kids at all times.
GOING TO WORK INSTEAD OF BEING A SAHM
Even SAHMs who are super comfortable with their decision and know that it’s the right one wonder if they should go to work. It’s normal to think long and hard about this choice, and it’s something that every mother has to deal with.
When you go back to work, you wonder if you should become a stay-at-home mom. And when you think about this, it also proves that you’re a good mom, because only good moms have this thought running through their heads. You want to be an amazing mother and that means worrying about this choice. You can’t help but have that little seed of doubt.
BEING A SAHM INSTEAD OF USING YOUR COLLEGE EDUCATION AND WORKING
As a mom writes for S. Mommy, a worry that many moms have is whether they should use their college education and work instead of being a stay-at-home mom.
This is something else that only good moms worry about too much. Yes, of course you adore your children, but you can’t stop yourself from thinking about the years of schooling and everything that you thought about accomplishing. It’s okay to wonder about this topic. It’s a worry that only good moms have because it means that you don’t take your choices lightly and you want to be the best that you can for your children.
REMEMBERING SCHOOL FIELD TRIP PERMISSION SLIPS (AND ANYTHING TO DO WITH SCHOOL)
According to Mom.me, moms worry about forgetting to sign permission slips for school field trips and anything else that has to do with their child’s school. This is another worry that only good moms have.
While you might wish that you could be more chill about this, it makes you a good mom because it shows that you care so much about your kids that you really can’t stop thinking about them. You want them to have an amazing school experience and you would be bummed to have forgotten something like this which could mean that they couldn’t go on a field trip.
GOING AWAY FOR A KID-FREE WEEKEND
There comes a point in every mom’s parenting journey when going away with their partner and without the kids becomes a real possibility. It’s no longer just a dream or something that you think about and then go, “Well, that could never happen.”
When you and your partner do set up a weekend getaway and leave the kids at home, it’s definitely something that you’re going to worry about. Was this the right thing to do? Are you still a good mom if you want two days away from your children? If you worry about this, it means that you’re doing this parenting thing right because only good moms have these thoughts.
WHETHER THAT NEW FRIEND IS A GOOD INFLUENCE
Moms might feel like they’re being a bit overprotective or overthinking things if they’re not super sure about their child’s new friend. It may feel that way, but it’s honestly something that only good moms worry about.
Every mom wants their children to have happy and healthy social lives, which does mean making new friends, but of course you want to make sure that they’re good influences. The last thing that a mom wants is for their kid to start swearing or wanting to spend hours and hours on the family iPad because of their new pal. This is a normal concern for moms to have.
KIDS EATING ENOUGH VEGGIES
Momtastic says that moms worry if their kids are eating enough vegetables, and every mom definitely knows that this is true.
This also seems like something that only good moms worry about too much. After all, you know that your kids will eventually eat some kind of vegetable, even if it’s a small amount. If you keep introducing them to vegetables, it’s inevitable that they will try something. But it’s easy to worry too much about this because you care about your kid’s health and you want them to be a really amazing eater. It makes sense that moms think about this so much.
IF THEIR KID WILL GET THE BUG OR COLD GOING AROUND
As Jennifer P. Williams writes on her website, she worries about her kid getting sick: “What are the chances my kid will catch that stomach virus going around? I have this one every time I hear or read about someone having the stomach virus. Even if they live a thousand miles away.”
This is something else that only good moms worry about too much. You know that of course your children will get sick at some point and that they are always exposed to germs, but you can’t stop yourself from being concerned about this all the same. You’re a good mom and so this is constantly on your mind.
IF YOUR CHILDREN ARE AWARE OF YOUR LOVE FOR THEM
As a mom writing for What To Expect pointed out, she worries if her kids are aware that she loves them.
This seems like something that many moms think about. It’s definitely good to know that if you have this worry, it means that you’re a good mom because only good moms worry about this. Of course your kids can tell that you love them so much, and of course you would want to make sure that this is true. Good moms never stop trying to shower their kids with affection and love. It’s part of daily life as a mom.
IF YOU SHOULDN’T TAKE ANY “ME TIME”
“Me time” is tough for moms to wrap their heads around. Many moms talk about how “you can’t pour from an empty cup” and you have to take care of yourself so you can be there for your family.
While this makes sense, it’s hard for many to take some time away from mom duties and focus on themselves. It feels like moms should be with their kids instead and there’s always another thing to cross off on that to-do list. Wondering if you should take “me time” is another thing that only good moms worry about too much, so even though this is a complicated subject, at least you know that you’re a great mother.
NOT BEING PERFECT (ESPECIALLY WITH BAKE SALES)
A mom writing for Momtastic poses a question that is so relatable: “Will anyone notice that the muffins I bought for the school bake sale are store-bought?”
Being a mom means being involved in bake sales, and that always brings up the question of whether you can get away with buying something or whether making homemade chocolate chip cookies or banana bread is an absolute must. Only good moms worry about this too much because it just seems to matter so much that you’re perfect and that you get this right. You know that whatever you choose will be just fine, but it feels really important.
IF YOU PLAY FAVORITES WITH YOUR KIDS
You’re definitely a good mom if you worry about being there for both of your kids equally and if you play favorites with them. Honestly, this is something else that only good moms worry about.
As this mom wrote on What To Expect, “When my five-year-old and three-year-old argue over a toy or a princess costume, I find that I naturally take my younger one’s side. Then, I’ll worry that this wasn’t fair. Should I have handled things differently?”
If you can relate to this, then you’re on the right track and are an amazing mom. There is no reason to think otherwise at all.
IF YOUR CHILDREN WATCH TOO MUCH TV OR PLAY TOO MANY VIDEO GAMES
According to Best Ten News, moms worry about whether their kids watch too much TV, play too many video games, or have a lot of screen time.
You basically can’t become a mom these days and not have these thoughts. It would be totally impossible. Moms can breathe easy knowing that these are worries that only good moms have. You want your kids to have fun and that does mean some TV and video games, but you don’t want them to stop playing outside or reading or doing homework or literally anything that doesn’t involve a screen. Every good mom has these concerns.
KIDS NOT GETTING INTO A GOOD COLLEGE, WHEN THEY’RE ONLY IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL
There has definitely become a trend in the past few years of worrying about kids getting into great colleges when they are still super little. Sure, they’re only in preschool or elementary school, but what about college? Are moms sure that they’re on the right track academically and that they’re going to succeed?
Only good moms worry about this. It proves that you want the best life ever for your children and that includes encouraging and inspiring them to do well in school and receive an amazing education. You can’t help but feel the pressure of the other moms around you who are also having these thoughts and worries.
ARE YOU HANGING OUT WITH YOUR CHILDREN ENOUGH?
As a mom wrote for What To Expect, she worries if she hangs out with her children enough. She said, “As a stay-at-home mom, all I do is spend time with my three little ones. But I’m often concerned that the time is not as quality as I’d like. My goal is always to spend time playing with each of my children, uninterrupted, at least once per day. But sometimes between appointments, activities, and typical chores and obligations, this is a challenge.”
Worrying if you hang out with your children enough is definitely something else that only good mothers worry about. It shows that you care and that your priority is being with them as much as you can.
IF YOUR KIDS ARE SNACKING TOO MUCH
As Jennifer P. Williams writes on her website, moms worry about whether their children are snacking too much. She writes, “How many snacks are too many? The doctor says grazing is okay, but when does grazing become snacking, and how much of that is too much?”
It’s actually a good thing that you’re worrying about this because it’s what only good moms worry about. It’s not easy to feed children and to figure out what the best foods are for them and what they’re going to want to eat. It’s also not easy to figure out the whole snacking thing.
IF YOUR KIDS ARE OLD ENOUGH TO NOT NEED A BABYSITTER
As Jennifer P. Williams writes on her website, “When are kids old enough to stay alone? You know they are going to want to do it before you are ready to let them. So how can we really know when they are ready?”
Have you ever thought that your children are old enough to not need a babysitter… and then immediately worried about having that thought? If the answer is yes, then you’re definitely a good mom because only good moms worry about this. It’s hard to know what the right age is and whether your kids are still too young, even if other kids in the neighborhood are starting to stay home without a babysitter.
BEING THE BEST MOM YOU CAN BE
Some moms worry about “everything.” As a mom wrote on Circle Of Moms, “everything, i am a very overprotective mother.”
If moms worry about being the best mom that they can be and this is something that really matters to them, then they can rest assured that they are great mothers. Only good moms worry about this. Of course, being a mom means that there are lots of worries to have on a regular basis, and no matter how smoothly your week is going, you’re going to keep worrying. Remember that if you have these 20 worries, it makes you a good mom. That helps, right?
This article originally appeared on Moms